ec2-44-220-43-170.compute-1.amazonaws.com | ToothyWiki | RecentChanges | Login | Webcomic The [BBC news website] has limited space to fit in its headlines. It also seems to employ people who have a sense of humour. Note down the ensuing effects here, new ones at the top.
Also from the department of garden paths, a recent article started "Government plans to open marriage to gay couples by 2015 could undermine its status as the state church, it said."
That's actually really cool, and shouldn't be anywhere near the BBCHeadlines page. Try SiteOfTheMoment, except I'm probably the only person actually interested. *goes to look for the J. Appl. Phys paper* --SF
Oh, I know (although I haven't read it meself). But they could use a different headline. --CH
I suppose it should be in the future tense, but...it's not that bad, is it? --SF
I hope it's not too tasteless to remark on this subheadline I saw on BBC News 24 about the 7/7 bombings: "52 people killed in 2005 attacks". That's quite an inefficient death/attack ratio on the terrorists' part. [Girl overdoses on espresso coffee]
[Napoli towed away for recycling] - also spotted by Magazine Monitor's correspondents. [Dinosaurs given protected status] - as a commenter on the [Magazine Monitor] says, it's a bit late now. [1] Not in the headline, and not particularly amusing either, but it's bringing me out in significant figures... "Being only about seven million km (4.5 million miles) from its parent star, the planet is also very hot, about 1,327C (1,600 K; 2,300F)." --B
[Thai cops punished by Hello Kitty]. Not a typo, or even similar. But someone has at last found a good use to put that cat to! --MJ [Many Asians 'do not feel British'] - well, the vast majority of them aren't, having never so much as visited the place. Not a headline, but a caption to a picture in [Life in the fast lane]. "Speed was blamed for 28% of UK roads last year". --Admiral Not a headline and not the BBC so hopefully a classification faerie like M-A will archive it correctly; but marvellous nonetheless. The [Guardian] has confirmed that Michael Howard is indeed undead. About eight paragraphs in it refers to the "former Michael Howard, the former Tory leader". -- Nat
Come on. That's illustrated with a photograph of the Airbus A380 and there's no particular reason to expect the BBC to write an article about a road between Torquay and the M5 as opposed to an aircraft they've been writing about for some time. --SF
The link from the front page was text only - my honest reaction when I read it was of complete confusion, so I had to click on the link to find out what it was about. I must have missed the name of th plane before - I just knew there was some big new Airbus plane, nothing else. --M-A
Now amended (boringly) to "Teenager remanded over 'air plot'" --Tsunami
[Stars tipped for MTV award glory]: And there was me thinking they were going to give them to the kind of unrecognisable, unemployable losers you find on Love Island.
I hear Alpha Centauri is hotly tipped to take a few --Androidkiller
Nonono. They mean that, in order to acquire glory for MTV awards, people have been going out and knocking over (celebrities|astral objects). --CH
The astonishing thing is that the BBC meant exactly what they said! --CH
[Beauty of Swedish model disputed] (spotted by someone else, but too good to let pass -- and this one is so contrived that I think it counts as final proof that these are deliberate.)
Odd, I showed up in recent changes as having written that, but I didn't. --Edwin
In what way is that funny or misleading as a result of phrasing? It looks to me like a perfectly accurate description of the story to which it is attached.
To me, at least, it sounds as if a dinosaur was in a public debate or similar, or being interviewed by Jeremy Paxman, or a politician made a statement insulting the academic achievements of said dinosaur, or suchlike. I like it. --AlexChurchill
Ah, but the former story is Scotland-specific. So, everywhere except Scotland knows that children need an hour of exercise, but Scotland says it isn't that simple. --Admiral
[Alcohol advice for attack victims] - It's not so much the headline that caught my attention as the sentence "Half of all facial injuries seen by doctors are associated with alcohol and almost a quarter with violence." Only a quarter of facial injuries are associated with violence. Wow. What causes the other three quarters? --Admiral
It's more the news stories I'm commenting on here (although they do both have mildly entertaining headlines), so feel free to move to more appropriate place. The juxtaposition of [Flight ban for anti-Bush T-shirt] and [Australian outrage at flag controls] is rather scary. Yet another blatant example of picking and choosing when freedom of expression is allowed. --Nat
Fire!
If that's supposed to be a reference to the counter-example of shouting 'Fire' in a CrowdedTheatre? (when there is no fire), it's a bit silly. [T-shirts] are common methods of expressing political and other views, and (I assert) are not confused by sober and reasonable people with alarms. Similarly for waving national flags (as opposed to semaphore flags). --B
Thanks Bobacus. You've written the reply I was about to write, but probably expressed it more clearly. --Nat
From [here]: "Those who enjoy cigarettes after a meal or after making love can still do so. It's just that you won't necessarily be able to do so in a restaurant or cafe any more." Goodness me, what these exhibitionist French get up to in their restaurants.
Of course not - food hygiene inspectors have found that tikka masala in Wales is infested with a rare species of Drosophila called the Rapper West fly. --Rachael
From [here]: "But contrary to the common perception of benign hippies growing marijuana in their lofts, the vast bulk of the industry is in the grip of criminals." Surely if it's illegal then they're all technically criminals, even the benign hippies? [Guardian] as opposed to BBC: "The medical profession needs to be much blunter about the dangers of malaria," says Jo. "They need to say, 'This thing can kill you if you don't take your medication. At the moment, that's not happening nearly enough.'" I think they should have closed the inner quotes one sentence earlier. --Rachael Not a headline, but [The BBC has been told the group are being held at an Iranian Revolutionary Guards Corps base in Tehran, where Iranian officials are said to be being treated "humanely".] I think they meant that the prisoners were being treated humanely. --Admiral From [here]: "Women, on the other hand, will develop lighter, smooth, hairless skin, large clear eyes, pert breasts, glossy hair, and even features, he adds." What - they'll even develop features?
[Lords issue landmark abuse ruling] - that'll stop those pigeons abusing Nelson's column. Marginal, but [Is five too soon to start school?] Well, yes. Most don't start until at least 8:50. --CH From [here]: "[Self-healing rubber] could profoundly change the world as we know it – no more puncture repair kits, kids, or broken toys come to that" - although I can think of a way it could prevent kids, I don't think that's what they meant. --Rachael [Shannon police at uncle's house] - some strange Irish variant of Mother's'* day? --CH (*: delete apostrophe as desired) [China in Olympics pollution drive] - too easy a target to snark at... [Green sports car set for launch]. Now they're working on the red and blue pigments. [Sad story], but: "he met Mrs Samuels in the summer of 2005 - a year after she broke up with the father of her children's father."
PeterTaylor wonders whether the twins in question will be separated later anyway. He spent at least one year of primary school in a different year-group to his twin sister.