ec2-3-17-150-163.us-east-2.compute.amazonaws.com | ToothyWiki | NokkyQuotes | RecentChanges | Login | Webcomic (Forward to /2007) (Back to /2005) 22nd Dec: Rachael to Richard: How can you be scared of heights? You live in the attic! - Vic: Ah, but he closes his eyes...
Mon 6 Nov: StuartFraser: A CVS that would let you arrange for people to be eaten by a sandwurm would sell better, I think.
Wed 1 Nov: Serge: Every samurai anime contains mecha
Sun 29 Oct: Nick Green (preaching): You know your efforts are about as effective as me bending over and trying to pull myself up by my... non-existent bootlaces, because I'm not wearing lace-up shoes.
Thu 26 Oct: Elaine, pointing at a leaflet featuring a picture of Joy's hand: Oh, is that a real hand? - Joy: Of course it's a real hand, it's my hand! - Elaine (entirely seriously): It doesn't really look like a hand to me, it looks like a picture of a hand...
Elaine: I find drinking a cup of tea when it's freshly brewed nice and comforting. - Alex: Ah, how comforting, having my internals scalded! - Steve: Yes, the comfort of feeling my œsophagus sizzling...
Mon 9 Oct: Alex: I don't think they've installed firemen's poles up Ben Nevis, although... you never know...
Serge: I'm keeping my finger very near the big red button - Vitenka: Which big red button? You have so many! - Serge: I have many fingers!
Wed 27 Sep: Douglas to Dave: You have filled my shoes with toffees. Should I thank you or curse you?
Vitenka: No, that would mean his bath curtain is a vampire. Which seems unlikely. - Morag: Quote! - Alex: It seems a perfectly reasonable utterance to me. I'd think it is indeed unlikely that someone's bath curtain is a vampire. - Los: I'm a bath curtain vampire! I enfold you in my folds and suck the moisture from you!
Mon 18 Sep 06: ChrisHowlett: [12:58] And who says that the compiler is in /this/ universe?
Wed 6th Sep 06: Serge: You just have an upside-down umbrella, and make it in the shape of a cat
Sun 20 Aug 06: Kate to Steve, who's eating a JellyBaby: Are you eating its face? (Steve nods) You couldn't just eat it like a normal person... - Alex: So how do you eat normal people then, Kate?
Monday 24 July: Matthew Ford: Hmm... I'm getting emails from myself every hour saying that my computer is unable to moo. It seems that I have to be logged in at the terminal, otherwise I don't have write access to the sound card.
Fri 14 July: Vitenka: [10:10] start by deciding what you arne't. Then you're whatever is left. ChrisHowlett: [10:13] Alternatively, form a hypothesis on what you are. Then see whether everything that isn't that thing, isn't you.
Mon 3rd July: Mike to Alex: Your floor eats other floors! Your floor is a cannibal floor!
Mike: "Out of socks - time to go home!"
Tue 20 June: Whistway: I must pass on my aquatic apologies to you, as unfortunately I will be unable to grab a large herring between my knees and dance the macarena whilst whistling the theme from the teletubbies. Perhaps more importantly, I will be unable to attend Alex's fish party.
Sat 19 Jun: Alex: No, not to death. You could probably knock someone out with a fish, but not bludgeon them to death...
Thu 15 Jun: Kate: You wouldn't be able to do anything without chocolate, really, because you'd just be lying there wanting chocolate...
Tue 13 June: ChrisHowlett: [11:25] I wonder how many kings historically have been able to do [FFT]?
S?: [16:26] Hindu brand management has not been as well-controlled as the nazis
Sat 10 June: AlanRoberts: I just have this thing about tying knots in crisp packets!
Mike: [A cow] didn't look interested in chocolate - Alex: How can you tell? Do they have two lamps, a green one and a red one? A green one that lights up "Chocolate" and a red one that lights up "Not interested in chocolate"?
Wed 7 June: Alex: So are you proposing that... - Edwin: That JarJarBinks? is a vampire who travels around sucking incompetence?
Tue 6 June: Alex S: I don't know what it is about cats, but you know the way they fly into places, and fly out of places... - Vitenka: No, that's birds...
Sun 28 May: Nick Green preaching at CityChurchCambridge: ChrisTarrant?, who for purely temporary purposes of this preach only, is a bit like the Devil figure
Thu 25 May: Vitenka: [11:56] you know you're dozy when you start multiplying vectors by coffee-cients
Wed 24 May: Vitenka: You mean your DVD player doesn't have a "skip to magnificent arrogance and nose" button?
Tue 23 May: Peter: I've never seen any dead cheese walk away from a mousetrap
Mon 22 May: hart: [08:55] Trees are fairly heroic, aren't they? In a sort of laissez-faire ruler way?
Matt: I don't think caffeine can be considered a vitamin, unless of course you're Serge
Fri 19 May: AlexChurchill: [13:13] So the NeoPet? has to have lots of study of doughnuts? ChrisHowlett: [13:16] Yes. Although you may aid in the study, and may teach the NeoPet? directly if your Doughnut level is higher than that of the NeoPet?.
Wed 17 May: ChrisHowlett: [13:06] I meant to find an invisible mountain
Fri 5 May: MoonShadow: [10:48] Brioche! ChrisHowlett: [10:50] No, MoonShadow, that's a cakey bread. Not an RTS MoonShadow: [10:54] CH: I disagree. Maximising one's stock of brioche is a very strategic pastime, in which every second matters
ChrisHowlett: [11:20] "Oh dear," said Alice, "I seem to have eaten the white rabbit's waistcoat. It was so very tasty. Whatever shall I do?" (see AliceInWonderland for continuation of this thread...)
Thu 4 May: Alan: I'm suprised Alex hasn't appointed jelly babies as ushers. A whole array of them...
Mon 1 May: Mike: Hopefully [a DVD was] not bootlegged? - Alex: No, it's a genuine one from a con
Thu 27th Apr: ChrisHowlett: [10:21] (For those wondering at my sanity, it's Welsh) ... - Mike: Or is he claiming that his sanity is in fact a carrot?
Sun 16th Apr: Vic: We used to have a coffee grinder, but... It melted. - <people laugh> - Vic: "Cap'n, the engines canna' take it!" - Alex: A coffee-powered spaceship. Somehow that seems so... right. - Ant: It doesn't really go anywhere, it just bounces around! - Vic: Hyper-drive!
Tue 11th Apr: Neil: In this game, unlike in real life, I'm a cynical, money-grabbing... quintuplet
Mon 10th Apr: Mike: You appear to be in danger of the rules of grammar going "ping!"
Alex: I had a parrot safety-pinned to my shoulder. - Matt: Ouch.
Alex: It'll be my responsibility to... - Mike: Wear it? I can just see Alex in a 22-foot dress!
Tue 28 Mar: David B: If you want to make a phone call, the best thing to do is to stick yourself to the ceiling.
Mon 20 Mar: Alex: I had mental images of these leaves with angry faces standing there going "Oi! You!"
Thu 16 Mar: Steve: If you look at the biscuit lustfully, you are guilty of getting fat
Steve: When Josie was in our group, she used to live on cheese sandwiches! - Elaine: She lived in France for a year, though, so she's probably advanced beyond that now... - Steve: She'll have moved on to Camembert baguettes!
Mon 13 Mar: Alex: The book suggested you could use cooked spaghetti as brains
Fri 3 Mar: Vitenka: [11:26] Hey! My toothyracoon became a lightning iguana whilst I wasn't looking.
Thu 2 Mar: ChrisHowlett: [14:40] It snows here too - ChrisHowlett: [14:42] ...and it stops again - ChrisHowlett: [16:15] It snows again - ChrisHowlett: [16:23] ...and it stops again - Senji: [16:24] Sounds like you're getting good-weather-lacunae - Senji: [16:25] "Lacuna Matata" - ChrisHowlett: [16:26] Oh dear. How can you live with yourself? - Vitenka: [16:27] He puns until the brain dies - Senji: [16:27] It's a problem-free philosophy
Wed 1 Mar: Dave: So you're going to freeze to death! - Douglas: No, I'm going to freeze and be alive!
Mon 27 Feb: Mike: The Pig of Happiness, with lots of hair
Mike: Is [this pizza] fossilised? - Alex: It was made of jelly to begin with - Mike: That's not the usual definition of fossilised...
Sun 19 Feb: Hoshi-Chan: Yes meta tags are best way to get cats to wee on comand.
Fri 17 Feb: Senji: Bah, RoyalMail crashed my Seaaardvark (and similarly, a few days later) ChrisHowlett: BabelFish killed my Spaceadder.
Wed 15 Feb: ChrisHowlett: I'd be worried if my copy of Windows was running on an orange-striped lizard
Thu 9 Feb: ChrisHowlett: I'm in Enfield --Vitenka: That's not a real place. That's a comedian.
Senji: Kazuhiko: when did you start having timestamps? --Kazuhiko: It's an affliction I've been suffering from lately. I keep meaning to go to the doctor about it but haven't had time.
Wed 8 Feb: Kazuhiko: Mass-battles of giant ascii-art ninjas wielding pointy whiteboard throwing stars? What more could you ask for?
Mon 6 Feb: Alex: I hate it when your food's nose grows just when you're trying to eat it
Sun 5 Feb: Nick Green: It is of course not usual practice to hide a light with a metal waste bin, unless perhaps you're using it in a sermon illustration - probably the only valid reason for doing it
Sat 28 Jan Susan: Lightsabres aren't actually geeky if you just hit people with them!
Thu 19 Jan: Steve: Rachael is usually quite good, for sock-based entertainment
Mon 9 Jan: Alex: I wouldn't like to lay claim to *all* weirdness...
David: Did you know, female humans are stripy and men aren't?
Tue 3 Jan: Jacqueline: [A screenplay] does have maths in it! Well, it has a dice in it...
Sun 1 Jan: Will: I /have/ made a deck of cards out of flapjack.