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It also happens to look like a JapaneseSmiley? of someone very very happy
Tue29.4.03
stuart: Killing Alex would be the next step - tom: Killing Alex would be traditional
tom: Can I point out that well over 100 zombies were harmed in the making of this game.
tom: I'm about to die messily. I don't really mind...
alex to matthew v: If you don't want a jellybaby by choice, would you like to be force-fed a jellybaby?
Mon28.4.03
alex: The lifetime of a jellybaby is ephemeral. The lifetime of jellybabies is eternal.
alex: Having lots of carrots with no apparent reason has got to be a good thing
dave: I never thought I'd feel sorry for a tiger tank, but there you go.
(dave? alex? someone?): Oh dear, bishounen on the roof! We can't handle that!!
dave: [A moustache] would probably taste rather similar to a beard - alex: Unless you'd been applying flavoured lipbalm to your beard...
alex to mike: Did you tell Rob that his beard belonged to a cult leader?
mike: Since my bike stays inside, most of the time, I think it's safe from developing writing skills
mike: I do not care about myself, but don't hurt my coffee! ...No! Don't quote me! You'll damage my coffee's reputation if you quote that - stop it!
alex: You prefer your coffee in the washing-up to anywhere else?! What kind of caffeine addict *are* you?!
mike: There's no such thing as a castor universe? - alex: Well, there's no such thing as an icing sugar universe. - mike: There is, it's called Disneyworld... - alex [starry-eyed]: Oooh! Does that mean the particles of Disneyworld keep subdivising and subdivising?! Ooooooohhh...
mike: You're not a Microsoft product, are you? - alex: [pauses for thought] ... ...If I am, then there's something my parents haven't told me!
alex to mike: Whether any word I say to you has actually come from my *brain* is another matter...
alex: How much wood would a plywood ply if a plywood could ply wood?
mike: So who have we got lined up for our RockPaperScissors tournament, then? Me, Zelgadis and Edward Scissorhands, as far as I can tell...
rob to mike: I didn't know you had paper hands!
Sun27.4.03
serge: You could change your name to Deed Poll
naomi: I think it's very much a Cambridge thing, this "Rah, let's throw pasta at the ceiling" thing...
angela: I know something about Serge that the rest of you don't - mike: Does it involve knickers? - naomi: [simultaneously] Does it somehow connect him to my knickers?
alex: Nagi used to be the South Park Movie incarnate. He's now half-way between the South Park Movie incarnate and complex algebraic Riemann surfaces incarnate
[D] angela to serge: What do you circumvent? - serge: Me? DVD protection...
mike: It depends whether the congregation of any given church can be described as a mob - serge: Or a frock.
rob: ...I'm speechless. ...Not just because I can't spell...
alex to rob: Are there any prophecies on the wiki about horsemen?
serge: It's dangerous to cycle with only one hand on the steering wheel
Sat26.4.03
matthew: Cutting worms in half doesn't usually happen to music
rob: Unfortunately that hymn book doesn't have "grep"
angela to mike: How did Zoë grill you? - morag: On a stick over a fire - How'd'you expect?!
mike: I'm sure between us, we must know enough wacky preachers to do a sermon on "one body many cheeses", and actually make it worth listening to...!
rob: That's ridiculous. [an idea strikes] ... ...Unless...! - alex: What, the complex axis has temporarily got itself superimposed onto your staircase?!
mike: This brain is infected with the Mornings virus! I definitely want a replacement one...
Fri25.4.03
naomi: It's like if Rob had the same personality, but could remember twice as much. And was suddenly female...
mike: The chances of me being awake and alert at 8 in the morning are very slim - zoë: The chances of you being *either* awake *or* alert are small enough, so both happening at the same time is very unlikely!
mike to alex: Alex, church towers are not mobile phones...
mike to alex: In which alphabet does the letter "coffee" appear?
alex to nat [by way of farewell]: I look forward to maybe balancing a banana on you on the 3rd of June!
mike to alex: Cathedrals don't usually have digestive organs of any kind
nat: Unfortunately I'm entirely eclipsed by a jazz bassist from the 1920s
serge: I once spent an entire evening saying "Bloooooddd" at someone. With them saying the same thing back at me... - simon: You really did graduate in Computer Science, didn't you?
mike to serge: You're molesting Rob's bike! - alex: Only in ways it's designed to be molested...
angela: Where's Alan? - mike: He's in Budapest. - angela: What's he doing? - mike: He's at a wedding. - angela: Is it a cow? - mike: Uuhhh... - angela [calls]: Alex! Alan's marrying a cow! - alex: [comes thru from the corridor] Yes? - angela: Alan's marrying a cow!! - alex: Sorry, is this news?
mike: How do they get a square chunk of pig in the first place?
Get the cool! Get the cool shoeshine!
Thu24.4.03
angela: I'm very naughty. I'm so naughty that my database has gone off the page.
alex: Can you imagine being called Xerxes Keith and saying, "I'm going to have five sons... and I'm going to call them all John!!" - angela: That's a really good idea...
Wed23.4.03
alex: He's set fire to the world! Oh well, fair enough. What can you do?
tony: I think I am becoming allergic to my house.
alan: A lack of coffee would be like a Mike with normal hair.
[W] kazuhiko: Kazuhiko is now suffering from images of AlexChurchill making TARDIS sound effects as he fades into and out of SpaceTime
Sun20.4.03
alex: I don't think you should marry anyone who isn't terrifying
GreenOpal: Unfortunately, I'm not a ten-year-old girl
ian: "Congratulations, Mrs Renton, it's a boy! Now we have to go and teach him about spiny starfish..."
GreenOpal [imitating the voice of the queen]: "Would you like to join me for a death-contemplating honey cashew nut of doom?"
will: There's a high turnover of restaurants around here...? - mike: Yes, a giant apple turnover replaces all restaurants after a while, didn't you know? - will: [types into his phone and shows to mike: "Silent contempt and scorn"]
alex: Ah, I see you have the machine which goes "(BEANS) Ting!" - ant: I wish I did...
Sat19.4.03
james: Only to my trained eye. Which is [indicates] this one! It spent three weeks in camp. While the other one spent three weeks straight
Fri18.4.04 (Good Friday in Bournemouth)
alex: Home on the range, yes. Home on the cooker, no.
vic: See a cake - sit on it! It's a natural reaction...
Thu17.4.04
kenton: I remember my first year [at university]. You could store 185 megabytes! ...On a two thousand four hundred foot tape...
alan: I don't believe I have any metaphors for relations... my parents /seem/ human... no metaphoric tendencies that I'm aware of... - Are you related to any metaphors Mike?!
alan: Mooing is surely a universal sign of great significance no matter who is doing the mooing surely?!
alan: Mooing is the ultimate conversation stopper
Mooning is the ultimate conversation stopper --ChiarkPerson
Wed16.4.03
~ alan: A terrifying thought... Lots of compscis wearing argos uniforms...
alan: The cows allow me to talk to cats based on the uncertainty principle in that D(t)=hbar/D(E) where E is the rest energy of the cat so they allow me to talk to smaller cats for a longer time than they allow me to talk to bigger cats.
alex to mike: I imagine Morag and Serge might object to you permanently stealing some of their floor... - morag: No! - alex to mike: Cool! You appear to have been granted permission to permanently steal some of Morag and Serge's floor!
alan: I think Nokkette should be renamed Nokketta because... - mike: It sounds more like an ice cream?! - alan: Err, yes!
Tue15.4.03
rob: I keep getting all this spam that says "I vote for this proposal. Pink fish."
Mon14.4.03
[W] vitenka: As a rule, I like to have SOME idea of the identity of those I corrupt
alex: It would be arrogant in the extreme to think that I could be the *only* source of such haddock levels.
rachel: I woke up and saw the clock was blank, and thought "I'm sure it wasn't like that when I went to sleep" - alex: Well, maybe time had ceased in the intervening.. ...um...
anna: Oh no! I'm being given chocolate - that's not being persecuted!
Sun13.4.03
[W] TheInquisitor: Of the one relationships I have ever been involved in ending, about 0.5 ended here.
mike: He constructed a sheeplike object out of various vegetables and presented it to her. I don't quite remember how the gloves featured.
Sat12.4.03
dave: Yes, there is a pork chop on the wall. It's currently masquerading as a clock.
douglas to an asleep-looking alex: Alex? Am I interrupting a dream? - dave: I think we always are, with Alex
douglas: My trousers are now a web browser
douglas to alex: Doesn't your princess's mouth unhinge?
mike: I don't think it's necessary to become an anime fan having been to Japan - morag: Heretic! Get out now!
morag: The idea of a universal Daffy Duck does not fill me with pleasure.
~ rob [reading a magazine article quote]: "Explaining why the brazil nuts always rise to the top of muesli" - wow, I've got to read this one!
alex: Maybe Mike was playing a game with me and the pizza as pawns, but I didn't know it - mike: Chess with pizzas - cool!
mike: Rob's elephants and Alex's elephants are fighting with each other to get to the edge of the cliff - [...] - mike: It just shows you're both compscis, because you've tried to cross an elephant with a particular breed of lemming - alex [incredulously]: Because only computer scientists would want to do that?!?
Fri11.4.03
mike: Having never been knocked out before, I wouldn't know how unconsciously attractive I am to females
mike: I'm afraid I can't see your invisible sign, because I'm on the phone
alex: Are you suggesting that tingh-ngh-ngh-ngh is a station on the London Underground?
alex: Shall we pray about whether to pour coffee over Moss Bros?
alex: Every now and then when I'm faced with a difficult puzzle like this one, I have to take my brain out and put it on a rack. Then I get a new one from the rack.
It really did make perfect sense in context. And it was also an awful pun, which you'll kick yourself if you read the /ContextFri11thApr03 before you get it. BeWarned?.
[W] vitenka: Many fish are also fish
Thu10.4.03 (Games + Puddings)
bill: Saddam Hussein, and his rival New Labour
phil: Weddings... - alex [getting married in less than 4 months]: Waste of money! - hazel [getting married 8 days before alex]: I second that!
steve: Black holes, I don't think have any particular evil intent
kenton: Football fans, they're with Adolf Hitler and the punk rockers
phil: Is electricity delicate? Not if you tie yourself to a pylon, that's not delicate
elaine to steve: I had a panic Monday night, but you weren't here, so I saved it till Tuesday night...
Ooh, I wonder if this is the Steve and Elaine that I know... --M-A
mike: I thought I'd started to understand what you meant when you said weird things, Alex - alex: Ho, ho, ho! How you underestimate me...
morag: The triumph of technology! - alex: We have socks...
alex to mike: Hitting people rather than coal with pickaxes...! Unfortunately, there are no pickaxes here. So I'll have to hit you with cushions instead.
Tue8.4.03
alan: I've just imagined a computer connected to the net being flushed down the toilet and dragging the whole of the rest of the internet with it
Mon7.4.03
mike: Niii-wom! Meow. - alex: He's... a feline... Knight who says Ni. - mike: Nii-eow.
alex: They ought to go together really, due to the bizarre combination of Beethoven and vegetables. [The GemueseOrchester performing the end theme to DragonHalf...]
dave [staring a a cake]: Mmmm... power...
mike: Why anyone would want to hire a reprobate is beyond me - dave: They have their uses...
alex: I'm flattered that you consider "Cheesenoise!" to be equivalent to Shakespeare, but I fear your literary criticism skills may not be usually recognised...
mike: The tunnel of doom is your hand - alex: No, not my hand - Angela's...
Sun6.4.03
peter re rotating desk fans: They're rather useless even if you do have a rotating desk.
jeremy re andrew and anne's coming baby: You can tell [Andrew] is a software engineer - he's given [the bump] a codename until it comes out.
Fri4.4.03
serge: Presumably they grow and turn into a spaceship. It seems to be quite common with JapaneseCats?.
morag: No, I do not want to read the ReadMe file! I've never read a ReadMe in my life, and I don't intend to start now!
Wed2.4.03
~alex: Are you saying genius is only genius when it works??
alex: So this is VHS videos made out of mushrooms?? Well, it would explain some things... - douglas: The mushrooms are all in your mind...
alan: I hope for Nokky's sake that Anna and Jeremy don't get married again. Excuse me? -Anna
Giggle. AIUI, the context was that Nokky got severe indigestion over the course of that weekend, including the single day which has generated the most quotes ever in my 5 years of quote-collecting history. Hence Alan's compassionate statement. He is known for being more considerate than most towards those whose sentience is not normally recognised... --AlexChurchill
mike: Much of what we use in our lab is naturally occurring - alan: And what about the rest? - mike: It isn't!
mike to alan: Mine's obviously an academic belly and yours is obviously more of a business belly... mike: How can Belly? be upright? He's sort of spherical. - alan: He's upright in all three dimensions, then!
mike: So in what way is Nokky like the prime minister? - alan: Oh no particular reason... I just wanted you to send a quote to Nokky so I could eat some crisps
mike: I was about to say that I can't really see Nagi in a Nokky...
matthew f to alan: Unfortunately she happens to be a mountain. I don't know about you, but I find mountains rather difficult to eat.
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