NokkyQuotes/April2004

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Fri30.4.04

[w] alex: Evil dudes approaching a millenium naturally attract female student underlings who are inherently cool enough to justify having a fan club.

Thu29.4.04

steve: Steph's birthday has been relocated to its correct location in September

Wed28.4.04

[W] moonshadow: The apocalypse doesn't work if prefixed with a descriptor

Tue27.4.04

alex: The sensible thing for me to do at this point is "Maaaa". ...The thing is, compared to so many other things I could do, it is!

dave: They will like this job, whether they like it or not, they will like this job.

Sun25.4.04

gabriel to alex: We don't mind if you get your head cracked open. Just as long as you write in your will for someone else to bring us JellyBabies...

Sat24.4.04

alex: A butter trifle can be an indestructable artifact without making you unable to eat it, is what you're trying to say?
- ant: Yes.
[Context: talking about MTG: Atogs eating indestructible Myr, and puns on "but a mere trifle"]

nagi: But why is a dinner normally the solution of an algebraic equation?
- douglas: Dinner is the answer to many things.
- nagi: But in what way can it be described as an algebraic equation??
[Context: See Fri 2nd]

Fri23.4.05

douglas: I shall return!
- nagi: But not before you have left.

Thu22.4.05

joy: My cousin's small and my aunt's a Christian, but my grandma's not

lewis: Could be useful if you find yourself lost on the LondonUnderground.
- alex: And in need of a fish?
- lewis: Oh yeah...

Tue20.4.05

neil: "Everyone else is dead and I'm a fish - I really shouldn't have fired that nuclear missile"

nick: Mathmos - they're all alike.
- neil: What, fixated on hairspray?

neil: [Is it a] Christian? Except they don't have eyes.

Sat17.4.04 (M-A's wedding)

alex: There's no particular convenient confetti to make a head out of.

on a fine april day
outside a cafe -
four matscis; this bunch
sat, partaking their lunch

on the table before them lay a great spread:
two green apples, three strawberries
and a large slice of bread

the oldest among them picked up his suit:
"we cannot have this, for the bread's not a fruit"
the waiter blinked and went off upstairs
he returned with a tray bearing two pears

they stared a while in contemplation
yet none moved, till with some agitation
the bearded one said: "there's no meal here
the pears are too many, too like apples I fear.."

the waiter muttered under his breath
and went off again looking grim as death
returning he gave them a sardonic sneer
and plucked a single cherry out of his ear
the customers smiled but then one shook his head:
"too round like the apples, and also it's red"

restraining a growl he left once again
for these picky customers he racked his brain
three raspberries? "too many" a coconut? "hairy"
a blackberry? "no, we can't have one more berry"

the servant came back one more time to the fray
he lifted the cover and upon the tray
a single starfruit gently lay

they all stared for a moment, then excitement beset,
all four made a shout:
"Set! Set!...."

How bizarre. Who was feeling poetic, then? --M-A

: MoonShadow, mainly, with some input from AlexChurchill and me. --Rachael

serge: I'm stubborn.
- alex: This is a woman's prerogative.
- morag: Um, Alex? ...He's not a woman...
- serge: Yet.
- morag: Um?! Is there something you should be telling me...?!

mike: Latté 2: The Revenge
- alex: Just when you thought it was safe to come out of the coffee cup...

liz: It'll give them something to do for their first few weeks of marriage.
- mike & alex: What, figure out what to do with a giant wooden mushroom?

Fri16.4.04

mike [contemplatively]: I can't even think what the Fourier transform of a pancake would look like...

: To a close approximation, a double delta function. --Vitenka

[anti-D] alan: Our house is sensible. It has Nagi in it.

mike: Oh yeah, I'm having problems with my shoulder. It went away over Easter --
- [is interrupted by general laughter]
- [...] mike: Well, every shoulder needs a holiday every now and then...

alex: Take a kettle to the North Pole, put it on a piece of ice, and take a photo of it!
- mike: I didn't know you'd taken up modern photography, Alex...
- [...]
- mike to alex: Is this another of your modern photography projects - a photo of a large self-levitating mirror above the Marianas Trench?

Thu15.4.04

tish: It's a pancake! Of course it's in bold!

Wed14.4.04

[W] requiem: I need to descale my kettle. My weapon of choice is shop-bought cola as being cheaper and easier to get hold of than most other useful acids.

Sat10.4.04

ant: Tiling your soul is a strange idea... You need the grouting.
- alex: Spiritual Grouting! Available now from all good churches...
- ian: Who cares about communion when you can step up and get white grout slapped between your eyes?

angela: I am a big iceberg woman.
- jenny: An iceberg space woman. That's even stranger.

Fri9.4.04

vic: My mother always told me not to pick up cards like that. "Son, don't ever pick up cards that look like three purple paracetamols..."

susy: I will drink with you even if you have you have a bluish-green mark on your forehead

Mon5.4.04

alex: Sometimes when I read the world 'broccoli' I just can't help myself...

Sun4.4.04

kate duncan: We need a JCB and a man...
- laura: Don't we all!

Sat3.4.04

phil: I'd quite like to see a sheep drinking beer

Fri2.4.04

david: I don't want to clear up the mess after I hit you with your dinner

alex [musing]: e to the pasta, I think is best. ...It's quite likely to be transcendental, apart from anything else...

alex: This is how you achieve devolution! You take the National Trust for Scotland, and apply anti-trust legislation...
[Context: AVeryBadPun that should be obvious if you think about it]

Thu1.4.04

alan: I think I'll just wear my swimming trunks, in case I'm walking around and suddenly find myself swimming...

mike: I could cross-breed my coffee with andrex toilet paper!

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