The Top Three Strangest Emails I've Ever Received
With a homepage as (to be honest) downright weird as mine, it seems natural
that I attract visits and sometimes emails from similarly crazy people.
But every now and then one stands out from the crowd. The three messages
listed here were each the first email I ever received from the sender,
and all received appreciative replies from me. I just think they're sufficiently
cool to merit displaying for the world to see :-)
So without further ado, here they are!
The Third Strangest Random Email I've Ever
Received
good morning. yesterday in a hospital i met an old lady who had a horse
that
liked jelybabies very much, only she thaught that he did not have a
particular 'colour'---
The Second Random Email I've Ever Received
Hello. Do you play baseball? Because we don't... (Famous opening line)
We were looking at your jelly baby page, and we thought you might like
to hear about another (fantastic) page to do with jelly babies. We
are
Aussies (don't be put off) who belong to a small but select (and very
crazy) group of people who believe in a religion called Hensenism.
It's
based around the sacrifice of jelly babies to The God (who has a
notoriously limited vocabulary). It also has a lot to do with music
seeing as all the original members are musos (for more, visit our site
and read the 'How it all began' section...). Put us under links or
we'll
shoot you (well, it's better than 'we thought you might like...'),
or at
least check out the page (or we'll shoot you again). We're at:
http://www.alphalink.com.au/~plants/hensenism/
Oh, and please sign the guest book.
All lemons are beautiful (Famous closing lime)
DWBH... (Don't worry, be happy)
>From Erica and Jacqueline.
The Strnget
Random Email I've Ever Received
Subject: Papering over Belgium for aesthetic purposes
Your cunningly-constructed steel whimsy detectors with the ruthenium
alloy plating won't spare you from the horrors of galloping ennui,
Churchill. We have airtight evidence that you tried to kill the official
seal of the president of the united states. Know and rejoice that
he-who-is-slightly-yellowing-at-the-edges, the grand warlock of small
nervous four-poster beds, SideburnLord Flatulandario, finds you guilty
of this horrendous crime against all that is held most dear to the
cause. We wouldn't have minded, but your lifejacket was in the wrong
tartan. FIND SERENITY in the pure and certain knowledge that your
sentence of
Being introduced to JEREMY BEADLE wearing Nothing but a Traffic Cone
and
a photocopied CV of a CONVICTED MOUSE MOLESTER over your parts most
dear
Is fully justifiable recompence for your heinous misdeeds.
Don't let it AAAAGH THE MOLES THE GREEN MOLES CRAWLING OUT OF THE WALL
ALL OVER ME AAAAAaaaah. Oh, that's better, thankyou nurse happen again.
Ooh, the seddativskicking innn. yoursss in the namre of cornflakes
S.F.
for his curmudgeonliness piemaster f'kup
P.S. I write this because I admired your homepage, but beware,
surreality is a two-edged paper streamer covered in apple chutney
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to the homepage!