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Wiki quotes: That rarest of things, primarily due to the fact that actual speech lacks a backspace key.

Indicating your appreciation of what you consider to be a quotable Wiki response is somewhat more complicated that its RealLife alternative however.  The traditional cry of "Quote!" may well garner a response from the individuals around you, but it is, unfortunately, unlikely that this response will include the materialisation of a Nokkette with which the quote can be appropriately recorded.

I therefore propose that this space be used to point out those phrases which you feel are worthy of being included in Nokkette's celebration of the weirdness of the English language (or simply its users).

People can feel free to email AlexChurchill with newly appeared quotes from the Wiki, or even with old ones.  People sometimes do already, and they do get into Nokkette's quotes file.  However, this page is an equally good solution.




Alex, is it necessary that a quote be unintentional?
I know to my cost that things deliberately silly can be quoted.  This appears to fall in this category :) --MikeJeggo
AlexChurchill's normal line is: it's allowed to be intentionally silly, but it mustn't be intentionally aimed-to-be-quoted.  I have made I think 1 exception to this rule in the 5 years I've been collecting quotes.  This means that most Wiki utterances will be fair game.
If not I think I would have to propose...
Vitenka becomes enragesVitenka misses you!  Vitenka misses you!  Vitenka wanders off to eat Cookies instead.
... from the DatingSim page. - Kazuhiko
Well, it's going to be hard to prove how intentional or not any given thing was; but I would have thought that the 'sic' summary would have given away that I was already quoting.  --Vitenka
Yes, I don't think this is a category for a NokkyQuote due to it being a reference to old computer games... NetHack or other RogueAlikes?, if I surmise correctly?  But being a reference in and of itself isn't enough to stop something getting quoted - for example, MoonShadow's "You are in a maze of twisty little sofa legs, all alike".  And, of course, there's no reason at all why I should be the person who arbitrates what gets quoted on this page, since it's a Wiki page and therefore everyone is equally a webmaster of it...  --AlexChurchill
This page was sort of intended as an "Alex?  I think this deserves to be a NokkyQuote." for your judgement.  If you would rather it work as a separate page for people to make a note of what they think is a Wiki quote then that works to, although the page title/location should probably be changed. - Kazuhiko

It's actually a horrible mishmash of computer things, but I wasn't the originator of it.  The 'becomes enrages' is a longstanding typo in Everquest (can't remember which monster it was misresponded to taunting that way)  The multiline response part is Nethack or Moria, and the 'wanders off to get a cookie' is probably original.  Overheard in IRC, and changing the monster in question to Vitenka makes it me.  Eh, quote it if you like ;)



I like the idea of this page.  I submit this quote for referral to Nokkette:
AlexChurchill: Looking at the typical UsedCarSalesman?'s 1st and nth murders could be interesting.

from CategorySerialCategoriser


Honestly? Your hair was on fire, you have sharp claws digging into your chest and the first thing you see when you open your eyes is a phoenix. Is your first thought really going to be, "Hmm. I wonder what's up with reality today?"... - Kazuhiko
(PhoenixFeathers)
also from the UnnaturallyKeenQuoteScout


Whahey!  The misunderstood guys have a giant fighting cyclops too!  But theirs is mostly hat.Vitenka (NinjaScroll/Episode02)
from ChrisHowlett
Well, good to know someone is reading those synopses.  But it's true!  It was mostly hat!  --Vitenka


Kazuhiko declares himself to be semi-automated wizardry... :)
Kazuhiko, on recent Phoenix Feathers comments
submission by AlexChurchill, while temporarily separated from Nokkette


"Personally, I like the comment underneath - "I was discussing injecting Drosophila eggs with my unofficial advisor". Now, either those are very large Drosophila eggs, or a very small unofficial advisor..." (ChrisHowlett)
Submitted by the UnnaturallyKeenQuoteScout (who wishes that the wiki didn't do weird things when editing pages in Konqueror)
CH, who usually enjoys being quoted, is happy to have the subquote attributed to SunKitten without the surrounding gumph attributed to him.


C'mon, most JapaneseCats? have wings.
Vitenka, on the subject of SarcasticTalkingCats.  Submission by Kazuhiko


You see a problem with my assertion that the state is owned by its own kindergartens?
-- Vitenka, on an earlier revision of NokkyQuotes/April2003


Kazuhiko will now move his voice back inside his own body...
--Kazuhiko, on TerryPratchett


Tsunami once again shows his connection to Yomiko...  Only Yomiko would attempt to read a jelly baby... --Kazuhiko
Another Kazuhikan gem, discovered by the UnnaturallyKeenQuoteScout


Vitenka (which, for the average person, is a few steps short of barbarous cannibalism)
--Vitenka, on RogueAngel/TheatreIsEvil.  Yes, it's being blatantly taken out of context, but that's part of what NokkyQuotes are all about...
snigger I bite ankles, if that counts?  --Vitenka


Penguins who avenge something no doubt.... Possibly the fact their wings don't work - I'd want to avenge that.
--DivinitySam, on AvengerPenguins


"StuartFraser considers that any one person being ClareCollege is somewhat unlikely."
on FourColourTheory


Why does your CoffeeMachine?? dispense cheese and cold water? --M?-A
from Chocolate


and from the same page...
Sally would like to be in a DarkChocolate? (sometimes with a hint of (orange/mint))



Bets as to whether a spell in the near future will be cats in English and BackfireHorribly?
--Vitenka (I think), on PhoenixFeathersComments/0306
snigger a typo.  But a funny enough one.  Yes, it was me.  --Vitenka



The inimitable Kazuhiko-sama again, in revision comments to BugTraq:
Help, my socks are overflowing!


Hamster is not to be consumed upon on or off the premises  Garbled, in ToothyHamster.  Submitted by the UnnaturallyKeenQuoteScout
PeterTaylor wonders why this is quotable. Has the UnnaturallyKeenQuoteScout never eaten hamster?
That could be recursive.  A NokkyQuote that appears only on this page...


...if I know anyone who's passed through Cambridge who would have a device for sexing phoenixes, it would be Remiel...  AlexChurchill in PhoenixFeathersComments/0307
Cough. Splutter. Sigh. Agree. Quote.  --AlexChurchill, apparently starting the CampaigningAgainstMultipleWordSentences (and nearly typoing that as CampaigningAgainstMultipleWorldSentences)


No, my car doesn't have a name. Suggestions welcome. - SF in MagicTheGathering/EventsAndReports



Memo to self-write cache... --Vitenka on [Vitenka/DigitalCamera] (a misread, but still quotable I feel), submitted by Kazuhiko


"It was thus deemed fair to deduce that Alex is a MtG card with an IP address..." --AlexChurchill on page AlexChurchill, on July 31 2003 - reported by MJ


I never knew I was a closet biologist --SF, on Aug 6th 2003


Walking home from work in four inches of snow in scandals was fun. --Admiral, on Aug 14th 2003


Saying that, people who time travel tend to kill their grandfathers, hence erasing themselves from existance because the universe hates paradoxes. -ColinLeung, on Aug 20th 2003, submitted by StuartFraser


Named after the sound BigBadWolves make before they blow houses down, demostrating the importance of MaterialEngineering?. -ColinLeung in HarryPotter/HufflepuffHouse, on Aug 21st 2003, submitted by MJ


AlexChurchill and StuartFraser went there for the 8th Edition "prerelease" tournaments, and found it a small and friendly atmosphere. -AlexChurchill, in AndSoItBegins, on Sep 3rd 2003, submitted by SF, who thought it had a friendly atmosphere already, obviating any need for SF and AC to find it one....


One would assume that MoonShadow has been wiring yet more computers / rooms / furniture / pets into the toothycat network... - Kazuhiko, in RJ45Mantra, on Sep 17th 2003.  Another triumph for the UnnaturallyKeenQuoteScout.  Or something... *^^*
Actually was written 25th April according to Past Revisions *shrug* --Kazuhiko
Apologies for the mischronoattribuquotation.  I shall deal with the quote appropriately when Nokkette receives it.  --AlexChurchill


"So, the CatProtectionLeague sponsors traffic jams, I presume." --Vitenka in CatProtectionLeague, 21st September 2003.  Submitted by MJ


"Just ignore me, I'll be under this, um, feather duster" --AlexChurchill in PhoenixFeathersComments/0310, 8th October 2003. (MJ)


it's just that a bit of it happens to be set on board a big steambat --AlexChurchill makes typo in SteamPunk.
Suggest a CrossLink? to the cat-spider-and-other-odd-monsters page?  --Vitenka


"I suggest learning to play a magical pipe to lure all the mouse into the river and persuade them to not remember how to swim."  -ColinLeung in LiveCaptureMouseTrapsMJ (29/10/03)

And for that matter, Vitenka on the same page and day (reported by AC):
You can never have too many cats.  Unless you're swallowing them, in which case the limit is about four.


"When the SAS start recruiting cats, the world will be a safer place..." - Kazuhiko, 28/10/03 MJ


Previously unnoticed, from 20/10/03 - "Trust me on this one: you do not want to eat monkeys from barrels." BlackMonkeyMage in his homepage --MJ


I think it's possibly (!) deliberate, but MikeJeggo in any case submits
"Pinky?  Are you pondering what I'm pondering?  I think so brain, but how would we get 786432 kittens into a monitor?" --Kazuhiko.  (5/11/03)
It's just a normal Wiki joke.  In this case, given the page it's from is about a kitten named Pixel, it's obvious enough that it's not really quotable. Although I'll agree it is rather entertainingly surreal out of context. --AC


In that case, MikeJeggo must try again.
"Why am I left with the feeling that ToothyWikizens are planning a surgical strike on Asda in order to remove... a trolley. --K
The ToothyWiki is bored .  It demands sacrifice .  You must bring it... a SuperMarketTrolley!  --Vitenka"
The above might fit the bill... 5/11/03 (From TrolleyImmobiliser)


Admittedly, like the submission two above this one, this is probably too deliberate.  But funny nonetheless?
"Nagi Location unknown.  You find the "Ultimate Weapon of Mass Destruction" early on (possibly in Skylab?) but if you use this on Nagi he just points to his collection of "Ultimate Weapon of Mass Destruction"s.  Later on you find "Sharp pointy bits" which you can combine with the UWoMD?? to form the "Ultimate Weapon of Mass Destruction with Sharp Pointy Bits".  This can be used to defeat him (or rather to make him point and giggle hysterically)."  (K) in PhoenixFeathers/TheRPG
Deliberate as in deliberately silly, yes.  Aiming to be quotable, no.  This has been sat in a file for well over a year...  I'm glad you find it funny but I think it lacks something as a quote.  Not snappy enough and too obviously part of a different document... --K
Methinks MJ is getting bored doing whatever it is he's doing in RealLife ATM, and suffering from a lack of quotable sayings happening round him... --M-A
I think you've got me sussed... --MJ
Of course it's funny. People write lots of funny things on the wiki.  Humour in and of itself isn't the only qualification for a NokkyQuote - otherwise we would rapidly be overwhelmed, and I'd get no work done at all for all the copypasting into Nokkette... --AC
Being funny seems to be neither necessary nor sufficient to have some wannabe-Wilde yell 'quote!' in that annoyingly whiney fashion. <--- authentic ChiarkPerson quote.
Anyone else ever feel like Steve Martin in Planes, Trains and Automobiles''? 'Everything is not an anecdote. You have to discriminate between things that are funny, or slightly amusing. You're a miracle. Your stories have none of that! They're not even amusing accidentally!'  --ChiarkPerson
Oh, goodness me. Could it possibly be that ChiarkPerson's sense of humour differs from ours?  Ever so slightly?  My goodness, that would be news.  You mean ChiarkPerson doesn't actually enjoy reading through the archives of NokkyQuotes the way that most of my friends do?  And so ChiarkPerson disagrees that some of them are "funny", that famously subjective quality?  This may not be exactly a breaking newsflash.  On the other hand, an ability to detect "whiney"ness of a tone of voice, when all that was transmitted were six ASCII characters, is an impressive scientific breakthrough that ChiarkPerson should be hailed for.  --AlexChurchill
QUOTE!  ;)  ChiarkPerson - A lot of this depends upon a shared context.  If you have heard 'quote' used in anger, then you would know that 'whiny' is probably the least good description of it.  --Vitenka


Having re-read this, I fear I must suggest for quotation...
"(MikeJeggo's) reaction on seeing MoonShadow's last edit summary, "MoonShadow's 2p" was - in all seriousness - to think "But MoonShadow doesn't have a 2p orbital..."" (LastExile/EndingDiscussion, 10/11/03)

AlexChurchill thinks if this were to be quoted, it should take a form something like this:
[W] moonshadow describing a wiki comment: MoonShadow's 2p
- mike [chemist]: [thinks] But MoonShadow doesn't have a 2p orbital...


Not /quite/ a Wiki quote, but [very close]:
SunKitten: Muhaha. I have many evil plans... and so does my cat ^.^  (11th Nov)
Perhaps we should introduce Pixel to the [Myr Mindservant]...


I agree it's possible to trade for madness  (PeterTaylor, Wed 19th Nov, reported by AC)


MikeJeggo believes "Knowledge isn't worth it unless it comes with a real risk of backstrain, that's what I say." (from Wikipedia) to be quotable, but is unable to deduce from the page edit history who the perpe... erm, contributor is, coming as it doesn from an unsigned comment from a random IP...
I believe it was ChiarkPerson.  And although it was said sarcastically (does he say anything in any other fashion?), it is entertaining out of context... I'll put it to Nokkette and see what she thinks :) --AC


I'm in paint, but at least they understand that. (AlexChurchill, Mon 9th Feb, on TodayIAmMostly. Reproduced with permission by CH)


TheShrubbery is very well endowed for pancake ingredients, except for non-stick frying pans! --AlexChurchill, on PancakeDay (within the past few days).  MikeJeggo would like to know, does Alex use dried or tinned frying pans for making his pancakes?


MaintainMe: move link to UrbanLegend, delete this page, slap Alex with wet fish. --AlexChurchill, on UrbanLegends?, due to ExcessiveReification?.


Realism is defined on a per reality basis. I like mine soupy. --Vitenka, on StoryVersusSimulation, 9th March 04.  A magnificent line!
(PeterTaylor) I'm all for taking quotes out of context, but when you chop a bit out of the middle, you should indicate it. "Soupy" refers to "consistency", which was in the intervening sentence.
Eh, I don't mind being quoted as enjoying soupy realities.  --Vitenka  (It was the consistency of a reality that should be soupy, after all)
Oops, my bad. I missed the consistency pun. *Hangs head in shame*. --CH



AlexChurchill: Fish, large, 1
Minus the context of AnimalsOnTheUnderground this has a certain quotability to it... --K


"We'll miss you, but I can appreciate dealing with imminent doom may need to take precedence. --AC" On TodayIAmMostly, 9/3/04


"Just because the mouse wears glasses doesn't automatically mean it's a biology professor, Kazuhiko." --AC, on LiveCaptureMouseTraps, 17/3/04
*sigh* Yes, I did consider including a SwitchNoNokky? by that line, and obviously should have done... but it's too late now ;) Who reported this, by the way? Mike? --AlexChurchill
I'm obviously becoming predictable in my old age... no hang on... --MJ


Whilst I object to being termed a YoungerKittenSister, the label fits quite well.  --Vitenka, in YoungerKittenSister, 24/3/04
I get away with stuff because I'm cute.  What more need I say?  --Vitenka


I could give rogues the chick in armour feat - KingDJ? on TippingTheScales/VariantRules?, 29/03/04



The apocalypse doesn't work if prefixed with a descriptor - MoonShadow as an edit comment on Kazuhiko/Generator 2004/04/28


"AlexChurchill recommends against the Trumpington Street mad carpenter. He's worked in Cambridge too long and ended up with chaos-tainted fingernails, and has been known to chase people past the mill pond into the fenlands waving his axe dementedly. There's a good mad carpenter in Coton, however." (TodayIAmMostly, 10/5/04)


"PeterTaylor wants to know where the horror is in a documentary about German origami."  PhoenixFeathersComments/0407, 27/7/04


Of course, anyone throwing an fpga at rock-paper-scissors probably deserves to win.  --Vitenka in ToothyWikiInternals/SignatureServer


NaToCreaMo??  --Rachael


 so much for loving your neighbour using robots.txt --Xarak

Hey what? When did I say that? -- the real Xarak
[here], in a minor edit. Looks like you were tweaking a comment you made earlier - I'd guess you (accidentally?) pasted a chunk of something into the edit box. - MoonShadow
Heh, right. That's someone else's post on another forum. The mouse wheel on this PC is dodgy and seems to cut and paste things with a mind of its own, but I still don't see how it did that without my noticing...spooky ^_^ -- Xarak



"Japanese prostate problems: just what you want to be made to think about on a Monday morning." - PlasmonPerson? in Nyo, 23/8/04


Ah, it is great to revisit the mushroom-fuelled dreamworld occasionally... --AlexChurchill in BigFishLittleFishBigFishLittleFishBigFishLittleFishCardboardBox/FourthNightGuesses


"Imagine if the only things you saw all day were RubberDucks... imagine what it would do to your head if all of your workmates or classmates vanished, to be replaced by RubberDucks... After a few weeks, months, interacting with no other people but just RubberDucks, mightn't you start thinking you were a rubber duck too? Can you be sure you wouldn't? --AlexChurchill" - DuctTapeAndTheForce, 24/11/04


"(PeterTaylor) How am I supposed to know what a vaguely normal person uses the Internet for?" SiteOfTheMoment, 8/2/05


"at 1.30 in the morning I think lichen is quite clever." --FlameRider on MarySue, 10/2/05, at 1:29:25...


stop trying to mix riding a safe with other activities. --AC, submission summary, 22nd Feb 2005.


I'm currently signing plantations --CH, on PuertoRico, 31st March 2005


A measure of the likely future of the universe (for people doing general relativity with very long rulers) --Requiem, on StuartFraser/WeNeedMoreLetters, 23rd May 2005



I don't think the Nephilim has any of the properties of Ninjutsu that made it Blue. --Edwin
A sentence obviously in need of context removal --K


My plan is to rdhvc vg jvgu fuvryq bs xnyqen naq gura gnetrg vg jvgu oebxra snyy gura eraq syrfu. Do people think that works? --AC, on AlexChurchill/MagicGeneratorDiscussion. There's something irresistably comic about the translation between encoded syntax and plain English in this sentence. --SF


SGB, on the ToothyChat: You don't need to buy a Docking Parrot before Pirates is playable
(/GuessTheContext), those that weren't there?


MoonShadow: [09:51] Shiva might make a good sysadmin
Collected by ChrisHowlett from the ToothyChat


ChrisHowlett: [11:04] Must be vaguely exciting being female, and getting to change name.
SGB: [11:04] I doubt if I woke up tomorrow as a girl that would be the first difference to strike me. "Wow! My name now changes if I marry and choose to let it! So *that*'s how the other half live!"
Collected by M-A from ToothyChat.
PeterTaylor points out that men also get to change their name on marriage if they want to (in England and Wales, at least).
That was also noted on ToothyChat, but the conversation stopped being funny at that point, so I didn't quote it... --M-A


SGB: [13:02] Hah - according to Unicode, the sexualities go lesbian, gay, bi, three sorts of transexual, ferrous iron sulphate and magnesium

This is [arguably true], but that's not going to stop StuartFraser quoting it.


ChrisHowlett: [09:37] I've just started another DwarfFortress. I have 6 female dwarves in my starting 7...
StuartFraser: [09:37] It's an ASCII HaremAnime! With Dwarves!
AlexChurchill: [09:38] Please to be refraining from breaking my mind

Stolen from ToothyChat, 27/06/2008, by ChrisHowlett.


"SGB: [17:15] I'm not taking a position on the sex robot game"
Spotted by Vitenka, and placed on WikiQuote, which is probably not quite what he meant.


Love isn't CamelCase? so you have to force the link --MoonShadow, in an edit comment for ElliottBelser/StrawmanSpecialWithCheese




no-reverse.redstone-isp.net: [10:07] You've turned into a cat. That's an unusual debating tactic, but I can't deny it has thrown me off my stride.


client2.poly.msm.cam.ac.uk: [15:07] It is possible that the military decided not to shoot people in WWII.
SF quotes himself, since there is no chance that this statement can possibly go unquoted. I didn't quite mean that.


MoonShadow: [10:12] His perplexion is greater, and his simians therefore bigger.
From #chat, 17/08/2009, collected by CH


RobHu: [14:16] I think all Raptors come with a 5 year warranty.
From #kazu, 14/08/2009, collected by CH


Edwin: [17:53] You should be careful with anything that makes babies more likely to be eaten
From #kazu, 17/12/2009, collected by CH, again.


TODO: France is wrong. Fix it.
Vitenka, on Vitenka/Syndicats, collected yet again by CH


54ob.scansafe.net: [10:05] Yay. I hacked my porridge :-)


Qqzm: [16:10] i don't plan on doing anything that requires knowledge of how magic works

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